Speechless...

I can't believe what happened today at V-Tech. In the coming days...I'm sure we'll have more answers. Unreal.

Things are tough at work this week. More soldiers that don't want to ship to BCT. On a personal note...can't blame then. On a professional note...you signed a contract with the FEDERAL GOVERNMENT.

I'm so torn.

L's b-day is Saturday. She will turn FIVE. I tear-up everytime I think about it. I panic when I think about shopping for school clothes, back-pack...etc. Gawd...she came home at 7 1/2 months! How the hell did we get to FIVE YEARS OLD?

I'm SO in denial.

Our wait for Sadie just goes on and on...

Part of me wants to give up. We're not getting any younger. I want to give L THE WORLD. As things are now, we're putting away everything we can for our trip to China. I'm so torn.

What most of you don't realize is that I'm a Military Contractor. My job could go away each year. It's NOT that I'm NOT doing my job...it's just that there are SO many retired military "higher-up's" that have retired and WANT my job...that each year our contract comes up...I could be "relieved". In my opinion, it's really not that I'm NOT doing my job. It's politics. I was hired for this job despite NOT having a military background. I have 12 peers in my state with the same job and they are ALL retired military with 11 of them holding the title of Sargent Major (or higher).

I was SO incredibly blessed to get this job. I love it. Not just the salary. I love my job. I love working with these kids. And they are kids. I love working with the guys I work with...because I despise working with other women. I'm just that kind of girl.

Life is just difficult right now. Pending contract renewal and the everlengthening wait for Sadie.

Peace...for everyone.